5 Ways I’m Becoming A Happier Stay At Home Mom

I’m not unhappy as a stay-at-home mom, but I could be happier. The stress, struggles, and mental load of motherhood could be less, and the joys and inspiration could be more.

So I want to share what I have learned about becoming a happier stay-at-home mom over the past 5 years.

Motherhood has been (and continues to be) a huge learning curve for me. After my first child was born, I struggled with stay-at-home mom depression. This is not an official term or diagnosis, but many stay-at-home moms deal with loneliness, sadness, and a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem. I know I did.

Since working through those first-time mom challenges and now with a second small child, I have picked up a few helpful habits that support my happiness as a stay-at-home mom.  

So here are 5 ways I’m becoming a happier stay-at-home mom.

1. Read Parenting And Personal Growth Books

Whenever I find myself deeply struggling as a stay-at-home mom, I know it’s time to pick up a book; either a parenting book or a personal development book.

A well-written, heartfelt, and informative book can shift my mindset like nothing else can. After a good read, I am ready to step up to my parenting plate with enthusiasm and love.

I use the the Libby app to get free ebooks or hardcopy books from the library. I can usually sneak a few pages of a book in before I go to bed, or during the occasional quiet time when my toddler is napping and my preschooler is drawing or doing a puzzle.

Parenting and personal development books give me tools and a deeper understanding of motherhood. With these tools and inner resources, I can respond to frustrations with my kids with calm leadership rather than getting caught up in a whirlwind of mom rage.

Not all parenting or personal development books are helpful for me, but I share some of my favorites here on the blog. I have a review and summary of Hunt, Gather, Parent, and tips from Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, which are among my top 2 favorite parenting books at the moment. 

2. Constantly Declutter

Decluttering is a long, slow, and tedious process. For those who can declutter their house in a day, I’m impressed.

As a mom with two young kids in tow though, I constantly remind myself that I do not have to declutter my house in a day.

I also like to remind myself why I want a decluttered home. For me, clutter adds to my mom overstimulation, the mental load of motherhood, and simply makes it harder to function within our home.

So I’m constantly assessing what was unintentionally brought into our home, or what no longer serves a good purpose. Those items are either donated, recycled, or trashed.

I share some ways I incorporate minimalism into my life as a busy mom and how minimalism helps prevent parent burnout in the blog as well.

3. Clarify and Review Big Picture Priorities

Taking time to review my big-picture priorities helps me stay grounded and connected to happiness.

When my mom passed away when I was 19 years old, I got clear about a lot of things. A loved one who loses their life too early has a way of bringing the important stuff into laser-sharp focus.

I realized that my health and my relationships were among my top priorities. So I keep these priorities close to my heart and try to maintain a big-picture mindset as best I can. 

There are a lot of little details that I often get lost in as a stay-at-home mom, but I try to remind myself about what is truly important and what is not. Don’t sweat the small stuff as they say.

4. Make Time For Personal Projects Or Hobbies

I need time to work on my own projects and hobbies if I’m going to feel like a whole person. I’m a mother AND I’m a regular old person with my own interests, hopes, and dreams.

When I do not get time to work on personal projects, I start to get grouchy and irritable. I start shopping too much and going to bed way too late.

While motherhood is hands down the most important part of my life right now, I also want time to nurture other aspects of my existence. Sometimes, I just need to take a break from the mental load of motherhood.

I know that parents often do not have much if any free time, but it’s time to get scrappy about making it.

I constantly pester my husband to make plans on days we are both around so that I can get some time to work on projects. Or, if there is no time during the day, I’ll set a small goal to complete some part of a personal project after the kids go to bed.

There’s usually not a lot of time if I do not want to sacrifice sleep hours, but even a little bit of individual time here and there is helpful as I work on becoming a happier stay-at-home mom.

5. Brave Stickers

We make “brave charts” for my son as he navigates social anxiety, and I realize that I need to practice what I preach! 

So I have to ask myself, “What areas of my life or what situations do I need to practice being brave?”. 

Examples of areas I need to be brave include; honoring and communicating my boundaries, forming positive friendships, and facing my anxieties. So whenever I am brave in one of these areas, I give myself a little mental brave sticker.  

Stay-at-home mom life can feel monotonous sometimes, but by practicing acts of bravery, I get to have new experiences and grow as a person. These things contribute to my overall level of happiness as a sahm.

Embracing Personal Growth As A Stay At Home Mom

My kids push me to become a better person and stay-at-home mom every day, and I’m so grateful for this.

I certainly do not feel like I’m thriving many days or bursting with happiness, but I know that I have come a long way and will keep on growing and becoming a happier stay-at-home mom over time. I’m learning to find balance and keep the mental load of motherhood in check. 

I have realized that happiness tends to find me when I am in the process of growth, not necessarily when I have made it to a final destination.