An Adaptable SAHM Routine To Cultivate Joy

SAHM life has not always been easy for me. I struggled with SAHM shame my first couple of years as a stay-at-home, and then with mom overstimulation and mom rage after my second child was born. 5 years into this gig though, and I am finally figuring out a great SAHM routine.

While I do not follow a rigid SAHM routine that looks the same seven days a week, I have a list of habits and activities I strive to do daily with my kids, at some point during the day.

These habits and activities bring stability and joy to our days. They have helped me transition out of survival parenting mode and into a deeply fulfilling and joyful state of existence as a stay-at-home mom (at least most days!).

10 Important Things I Incorporate Into My SAHM Routine

I am becoming increasingly aware that my children will not be little forever. Before I know it, I will yearn for their soft little dough hands in mine. I’ll miss the way their squishy bodies plop into my lap. I’ll miss the way they follow me around like ducklings. I’ll miss all the seemingly mundane moments of my sahm life.

So I’m making the most of my time with my kids right now by incorporating the following into my sahm routine;

1. Start the day with mellow morning music
2. Sit with kids over breakfast and be fully present
3. Brush teeth together
4. Move our bodies
5. Snack or meal prep together
6. Nap time/quiet Time
7. Invite kids to help with chores or errands
8. Quality time with kids before bedtime
9. Mom bedtime routine
10. Set mini mom goals each night before bed

1. Start The Day With A Mellow Morning Playlist

Music can completely change the vibe in our house in the mornings. I love morning playlists with singer-songwriters and acoustic songs to set a mellow and positive tone.

My kids also seem more relaxed and content when we start our day out with music as we make breakfast and get ready for the day.

2. Be Fully Present At Breakfast

There’s no good reason I cannot sit with my kids at breakfast and mindfully and joyfully enjoy a cup of coffee and their company.

My kids can tell if I’m distracted by my phone or trying to check things off my to-do list while sitting with them. So I set my phone aside, I give them my full attention, and enjoy our breakfast time together.

3. Brush Teeth Together

Before I became a parent, nobody told me that getting a toddler to brush their teeth was like pulling teeth! Despite this ongoing struggle, I want my kids to know that taking care of their health is a priority.

I try to make brushing teeth as fun as possible, and usually brush my own teeth with them to make it feel like a group effort.

4. Get Active With Kids

Kids have unbelievable amounts of energy! If they don’t have ample opportunity to run, wiggle, jump, and twirl, they tend to get cranky. 

The good news is that by giving my kids ample opportunity to get their wiggles out, I also get myself moving! One of the many benefits of being a SAHM!

I walk to the park with my kids, go for bike rides, have dance parties, or do yoga with them as part of my sahm routine. Everyone has a good time when we are physically active.

My toddler and preschooler love Danny-Go dance-along videos on YouTube. They also have fun following along with the yoga videos from Cosmic Kids Yoga on YouTube.

A simple walk around the neighborhood is also great for moving and getting some fresh air. We recently gave my preschooler a kid’s camera for his birthday, and he takes it on our walks and has a great time snapping pictures of things along the way.

5. Prepare Food Together

While it’s almost never a relaxing experience inviting my kids to join me in food prep, it’s usually worth the extra mess and effort. My kids get to learn new skills while building self-confidence and self-esteem. Plus, they are genuinely helpful on occasion!

I share some kid-friendly recipes on the blog that are also relatively simple to prepare with kids.

When my toddler scoops her own yogurt or uses a measuring cup to pour her oatmeal into a bowl, she is so happy. Likewise, my 4-year-old is ecstatic after he makes everyone scrambled eggs or fills everyone’s water cup.

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Michaeleen Doucleff discusses how kids love to feel like contributing members of their families and communities. I always keep this in mind as I’m going about our day.

I share more helpful parenting takeaways from this book in my Hunt, Gather, Parent book review. Reading lots of parenting books has been one of the powerful ways I’m becoming a happier stay at home mom!

6. Nap Time/Quiet Time

I don’t know about other mamas, but I almost always hit an afternoon slump, or the afternoon sleepies as I call them. Right about the time 2 pm rolls around, I’m struggling to function.

My brain and body start to feel like glue. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and nap. 

While I can’t always take a nap, I can usually get my kids to cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and a storybook or a movie. Or, if my toddler is napping, my preschooler will have some quiet time and let me rest my eyes on the couch.

Making this afternoon lounge time a part of my sahm routine helps me recharge and stay upbeat throughout the late afternoon. It also helps me keep mom overstimulation at bay, one of my biggest SAHM struggles. It’s an important time for my kids too.

7. Inviting Kids To Help With Chores, Cooking, and Errands

While doing chores is not exactly a source of joy for me, I like teaching my kids what it means to maintain a home.

Because I am a sahm, I get ample time to teach them about simple life maintenance tasks. I do not remember having much of this as a kid, and as a young adult, I was embarrassingly ignorant regarding practical tasks like preparing food, grocery shopping, and doing chores. 

I like that when my kids become young adults and venture out of the nest, they will know how to take care of themselves.

The great thing is that not only are they learning valuable life skills, but we are also spending time together. My kids do not care whether we are wiping down a table or playing at the park. To them, spending time together is spending time together, and that is what matters.

8. Quality Time With Kids Before Bedtime

Spending quality time with my kids before bed is something they can almost always count on. We have dance parties, read books, or hang out and talk before bed.

I’m currently reading Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages of Children, and one of the chapters is about quality time with children, why it matters, and how to get it.

One of Chapman’s suggestions is using bedtime to read stories and discuss characters’ feelings. This can open up a space for kids to talk about their feelings.

Knowing how to talk about and navigate emotions is a huge part of functioning as a healthy person. So, I want my kids to have the time and space to freely express themselves emotionally. Creating this space during a relaxed time before bed works well for us.

9. Mom’s Bedtime Routine

As much as I resist going to bed at a decent hour, I am slowly improving.

Having a pre-bedtime routine has helped me settle in at a decent bedtime. Once my kids go to bed, I shower, brush my teeth, and give myself an hour or so to work on a personal project, spend time with my husband, or read in bed.

10. Set Mini SAHM Goals Before Bedtime Each Night

Before I go to bed, I think about things I want to accomplish the next day. Even if they are simple chores, I write them down in a journal or jot them down in my phone notes to feel accountable.

It also feels good to check things off my list during the day. Some days I feel like I’m walking around like a chicken with my head cut off, so completing a specified task, however small, gives me a sense of direction, control, and accomplishment.

I hope these 10 sahm routines and rituals provide some inspiration for your own routine. Please let me know in the comments below if you have any great sahm routines!