Surviving, Occasionally Thriving & Always Learning
My first birth was an emergency c-section and my second was an unplanned VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). The best-laid plans, right? Birth plans gone awry are the quintessential example of one of life’s favorite maxims; control is an illusion. I spent hours during my …
Let me tell you about my postpartum anal fissure and how I got through it. A fissure is defined by the Mayo Clinic as a small tear in the lining of the anus. A postpartum fissure is among the most painful issues a woman may experience after …
After going through Painful Breastfeeding as a New Mom with my first baby, I am happy to report that I have successfully managed nipple pain when breastfeeding with my second.
I still experienced sore and painful nipples this second time around, but it never got anywhere near as bad as it did with my first. This is because I knew what to do from the get go. And this made breastfeeding in those early newborn days A LOT less stressful.
So I want to share my top 3 tips for managing nipple pain when breastfeeding in hopes that it can help some other mamas!
My 3 Steps to Manage Nipple Pain when Breastfeeding
#1. Protect Sore Nipples In-Between Feeds
#2. Take a Break from Nursing and Pump as Needed
#3. Always Help Baby Get a Good Latch
#1. Protect Sore Nipples in-between Feeds
With my first baby, I did not know how to properly protect my nipples in between nursing sessions, and this aggravated my already very sore and cracked nipples. Everyone told me to just apply nipple cream and that it would work wonders. Unfortunately, I did not find that nipple ointments did much for me.
Whenever I would leak colostrum or milk, it created a sticky residue and my nipples would stick to my bra. So when I would hastily pull my bra down to breastfeed, it would painfully take cracking and delicate nipple skin with it. Ouch.
So with my second baby, I did some planning and research beforehand regarding products to help protect and heal delicate nipple skin in between breastfeeding sessions.
I used silver nursing cups daily for the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding my newborn. The cups provided much needed protection in-between feeds, allowing my nipples to heal and find some relief.
Now, 3 weeks into my breastfeeding journey, I only need these cups when my nipples are starting to feel particularly sore, which happily isn’t that often!
While I don’t know much about the particulars of the science behind these cups (supposedly the silver has antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties), I do know that they provide a nice barrier between sore nipples and any potential sources of friction.
So in my experience, these silver nursing cups have been essential. I wish I had them when going through painful breastfeeding with my first baby, because they made such a difference this second time around. And aside from their function, they are small, simple to pop on and off and easy to clean.
I am diligent about keeping them clean with soap and warm water between uses, and I make sure my nipples are wiped clean and are dry before applying the cups.
After the silver nursing cups, I found cooling gel pads to be most helpful in the early stages of breastfeeding. Medela makes gel pads that can be reused for a couple of days, and Ameda makes ones that can be reused for up to 6 days. You can clean them and place them in the refrigerator between uses to help cool and soothe inflamed nipples, as well as provide some protection against friction.
I only needed these for the first week or 2 of breastfeeding. I alternated using them with the silver nursing cups and this made my nipple pain when breastfeeding very manageable!
Breast shells are not my favorite, but they certainly have a time and place. I used them a handful of times in my first couple of weeks of breastfeeding. Like the silver nursing cups and gel pads, they provide some nice protection from any friction against sore cracking nipples, and have the added benefit of having air holes in the cups to allow the skin to breathe. They also come with some foam inserts that soak up any leaking breastmilk.
My one complaint about these, is that even when I wore a relatively loose but fitted crop top to hold them in place, they still left pressure indents around my nipples. I think this was due to all the swelling and inflammation around my nipples. So I would only use the shells for short periods of time when I felt like the skin on my nipples needed to air out.
Before using the shells, I rubbed breast milk over my nipples and let it dry with the shells on. Alberta explains that breastmilk has antibodies in it that can aid with healing sore nipples.
Whenever my nipples start to get really sore, swollen and or have any sort of lesions, I switch to pumping until things calm down. At two and a half weeks postpartum I am continuing to use this strategy. This prevents my nipples from getting too beat up before they are ready to handle exclusive breastfeeding.
The idea to intermittently pump to manage nipple pain was first introduced to me by a lactation nurse when I was struggling with breastfeeding with my first baby. She said that my nipples needed time to heal before I could continue breastfeeding.
And it only took a week or less of exclusively pumping before I started alternating pumping and directly breastfeeding. And I then ended up being able to exclusively breastfeed. For me, the benefit of this was not having to deal with managing and cleaning pump parts and bottles.
So I like to share this little piece of wisdom regarding intermittent pumping to manage nipple pain from that lactation nurse, because I do not believe it is a very common one among most lactation consultants. In my experience, many lactation nurses will continue to push breastfeeding unless you have blood pouring from your nipples. But, you know what pain is and if your nipples are not in a place to have a hungry little human chomping on them.
I have found it pretty amazing how in the early days of breastfeeding, when nipples are still acclimating to their rigorous new job, just a day of pumping or just a few sessions can help manage nipple pain and soreness.
For example, with my second baby, I exclusively breastfed the first 2-3 days after delivery, and then when she started to cluster feed, I switched to intermittently pumping as well. Those cluster feeds can happen every hour or less, and that can really start to irritate nipples.
When pumping, I always make sure to use the right sized flanges for my nipple size, and I use a nipple balm like Honest’s Calm Your Nip Balm to prevent uncomfortable friction while pumping.
They say that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if baby has a good latch. I disagree. Breastfeeding can still hurt even if baby has a great latch. This doesn’t mean though that you shouldn’t continue to focus on getting a good latch every feed. Because your nipples will hurt a lot more without one.
Especially when newborns and babies are small, the Brest Friend Nursing Pillow is amazing to ensure a good position for proper latch. Getting one of these pillows was an absolute game changer for me.
This pillow makes it easy to lay baby on top of it, support his or her upper back with one arm and hand, and then hug baby in close to latch as you use your other hand to sandwich your nipple to help baby latch.
The benefit of this pillow compared to other nursing pillows, is that it doesn’t leave a gap for baby to fall in between the pillow and your torso. Especially during the newborn phase, I found this made breastfeeding much easier ergonomically. When my first baby got bigger, I started using the Boppy nursing pillow, but for newborns I really prefer the My Brest Friend pillow.
Struggling with nipple pain when breastfeeding is a fairly common experience among mothers, but something that isn’t often talked about. The more we share our breastfeeding stories though, and the more we share our tips and tricks with each other, the better prepared we are mentally and physically to navigate what can be a challenging journey!
Please share your story and what is or is not working for you when it comes to nipple pain during breastfeeding in the comments below. Thank you!
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As far as my hospital bag was concerned, I was wildly unprepared after the birth of my first child. I had not yet prepared a bag when my water broke at 37 weeks, and I had not anticipated staying in the hospital for 5 days …
Over the past couple of months, I have had some sort of flu, a stomach bug and most recently covid. There have been a few days of reprieve in-between viruses and bugs, but for the most part, I can’t remember the last time I felt healthy. Apparently this is toddler mom life.
With a nearly 3 year old who attends several indoor group activities with little booger fingers flying everywhere, it is really no surprise that we all keep getting sick. My toddler will develop symptoms (fever, vomiting, excessive sleepiness, etc) a day or two before my husband and I develop the same symptoms. The difference is that my tot gets over these ailments in a day or less, whereas it takes my husband and I at least a week, usually longer.
All of these recent bouts of illness have really made me want to put my toddler into a bubble and go back to our early pandemic lifestyle; isolated from people and germs! And especially being 25 weeks pregnant right now, I’m just over it!
The problem is though, is that I am living with a wildly energetic toddler. When my son was younger, he was far more content to just play with me and go about our relatively solitary activities at home and at quiet parks. Now though, I feel like he is ready for so much more.
So, what is one to do? How uptight should I really be about exposure to germs and viruses? While having covid was certainly no fun, we all got through it and are all relatively fine. And if I don’t let my toddler get exposed to all the bugs now, will his immune system ultimately be weak and out of practice as he gets older? Am I just prolonging the inevitable and we will be sick all of the time anyways later on when he is in elementary school?
In an attempt to make an educated decision about how much indoor group activity I want to expose my toddler to this winter and while pregnant, I did a little research.
So my first question is, do babies and toddlers who don’t go to daycare or preschool (or have a lot of exposure in general) have less developed immune systems than those that do? Will they suffer as they get older because their immune systems never battled illnesses when they were younger? Is being a stay at home mom and keeping my son out of daycare yet another thing I am going to store away in my pesky Stay at Home Mom Shame database?
Somewhat surprisingly, I found that the answer to whether or not babies and toddlers need to contract a bunch of illnesses in order to develop their immune systems is not as simple as a yes or no answer.
Melinda Moyer from The New York Times explains that while being around other kids and sharing microbes and getting various illnesses can help develop the immune system, it is not solely responsible. Genetics and lifestyle play a big role too.
For example, Pop Sugar recommends exposing kids to a bunch of relatively harmless microbes to help develop their immune systems. These are microbes that probably won’t get them sick, but that will still be beneficial. They get exposed to these microbes and maintain strong immune systems in the following ways;
Additionally, Cleveland Clinic explains that it really is best to protect kids as much as possible from certain illnesses when they’re very young. For example, they state that it is best if kids don’t get an illness like RSV very early in life. This isn’t the case for all illnesses, but there are certainly some that are best to avoid until later in life. Cleveland Clinic also recommends the following ways to support kids’ healthy immune system development in addition to those listed above;
So while I’m not going to put my child into a bubble, I am going to take steps that I can within reason to keep him away from excessively germy petri dishes. I want him to socialize with other kids and have fun playing at indoor playgrounds this winter, but I can be selective (eg, choosing less crowded places, having playdates outside when possible, washing hands after group activity etc).
And I do not think that being somewhat selective and cautious about germs makes me overbearing or is going to negatively impact my son’s immune system development. I have the luxury to be more selective about activities and exposure levels as a stay at home mom, so I am going to embrace that! And I’m also going to keep in mind those ways listed above to keep my toddler healthy overall that will support the development of his immune system.
And looking forward, University of Utah states that most kids will be getting sick less often by the time they reach middle elementary school. Sure does seem like a long ways away, but it’s nice to know that most kids follow this timeline and it’s all perfectly normal.
Sending everyone good health vibes this season!
My second pregnancy was brutal in terms of morning sickness. Or should I say 24/7 sickness. Why it’s called “morning sickness” makes no sense to me. In fact, I often felt the worst in the evenings and in the middle of the nights. In the …
According to Pew Research, the “sandwich generation” describes, “those who have a living parent age 65 or older and are either raising a child under age 18 or supporting a grown child”. And they explain that the sandwich generation often is providing financial and or emotional support for …
After meeting someone new, I always dread that question, “What do you do?” This question used to be a source of pride for me when I was working (in a paid position) and/or was studying in school. Now though, I feel a touch of shame when I answer, “I’m at home taking care of my toddler”. I always feel deficient and like I am not enough when I say this. This is the feeling of “stay at home mom shame”.
Why though?! In my heart of hearts, I am so incredibly honored to be a stay at home mom. I had a child because I wanted to raise and nurture him- provide him with a rock solid sense of love and safety- to play with him and witness every developmental milestone. I want to spend as much time as possible with him as he is spending these first few years of life learning about the world. And for my family, having a parent available at all times just makes our lives easier as we don’t have to juggle two work schedules with childcare.
So where does this stay at home mom shame come from then? I believe it comes from what society tells me (or at least what I think it’s telling me) I should value; money, a good job title and paid work. And somehow even busyness and stress have become badges of honor in our culture. So it’s easy for me to assume that the more money and stress I can generate, the more it means I am contributing to society. Flawed thinking I know, but I find myself clinging to this belief.
But I am tired of feeling like all of the energy I put into raising my son (I have never been so exhausted in all my life!) is worthless or somehow less important than what others are doing in their offices. I am raising a happy little human who will help shape the world around him as he grows up. How is this not considered one of the most important jobs?
Yes I could send my 2 year old to daycare or preschool, but is it wrong that I want to be the one to provide him with as much love and support as possible right now? He will be venturing out into the world on his own soon enough. While he is only 2 years old, I’d like to think all my time with him is having an impact.
So while being a stay at home mom may be a thankless job in the eyes of society, I stand behind anyone who wants to take on the role. While I have certainly had my ups and downs as a stay at home parent, I am learning to define a new set of values for myself and recognize the contributions I do make. While it has taken me a long time to get over my stay at home mom shame and confidently claim my role, I have (mostly) arrived and am excited to share what I have learned.
In my particular case, I know that I can be a more present parent if I am not juggling a paid job with my home life. I wish I had the stamina and constitution to juggle both, as I know many parents do, but I know that I would really struggle under such circumstances. I tend to carry around a lot of anxiety, and I have historically always brought work home with me. I don’t want to operate as that anxious work obsessed person as I raise my son. And since my family and I have the option and privilege to have a parent at home, I am glad to be that parent.
I try to celebrate the fact that I have this self-awareness and have adapted my life to support my individual constitution and needs. There is no need to berate myself for not being able to be everything that I think I “should” be. And also no need to hold onto my stay at home mom shame.
I hope I can model all of these sentiments for my son. So that as he grows up, he listens to his own voice, rather than letting someone else tell him who he is, what he believes in, or what he needs. If self-compassion and self-awareness were more prominent values in our culture, I believe we would have stronger mental health within our communities.
We live in a time where having a parent at home is the exception rather than the rule. In 2016, Pew Research states that 1 in 5 parents is a stay at home mom or dad. And while it’s great that it is no longer the 1950s and mothers are not expected to stay at home, what about those moms who have the option to and freely make the choice to raise kids full time?
Interestingly, I do not think that stay at home dads receive the same kind of social judgment as stay at home moms. I could be wrong, but it seems that stay at home dads are celebrated for their progressive nature. While stay at home moms are seen as living in the dark ages.
So being a stay at home mom can be isolating. When everyone around me seems to get up every morning, drop their kids off at daycare or preschool and then go and be independent humans for 8 hours a day, I often feel like the odd one out. And when I take my toddler on outings, hoping to find other humans to connect with, we often find ourselves at empty playgrounds.
Luckily though, I am finally finding a small community of other stay at home parents as I scout out community activities for my toddler. We go to our local library (you can check out my post on children’s libraries), a toddler gardening group, a Tinkergarten group and we are always on the lookout for other enriching activities. So over time, I am getting to know other parents who share a similar perspective as me. And this has also really helped me battle my stay at home mom shame.
My toddler and I also get to do a lot of errands and/or activities at home together everyday. We go to the grocery store together, bake goodies and meals together and he even helps me clean the house up. While it takes a lot more time doing these sorts of activities with a toddler, we have that extra time because I am home with him throughout the day. And I like to think that becoming familiar with these tasks will serve him well as he grows up and support his growing independence.
(You can check out my posts on How to Create a Toddler Friendly Home and How to Encourage Independent Play for more on supporting toddler independence.)
So while stay at home motherhood can be a bit lonely at times, I try to remind myself that it is perfectly okay to be on a different path than the majority. All paths have their unique pros and cons, and what a beautiful thing that we are not all just doing the same thing as one another day in and day out. Openness to all the different kinds of life paths is how we create a kinder, more varied and welcoming world.
Operating at the pace of a toddler all day long has taught me/teaches me A LOT about patience, endurance and humility. In the working world where you are surrounded by adult colleagues and never-ending projects, the day often moves at the speed of light.
This has not been my experience with taking care of a baby and now toddler full time. While things definitely feel like they are moving at lightning speed, they simultaneously seem to be moving in a circular motion and at a tedious pace. So the days often feel somehow both chaotic and painstakingly slow. It feels like it takes about a million hours most days to get my toddler from point A to point B. And when you endure that pace and those everyday tasks day in and day out, it can be absolutely maddening.
But, I am trying to become curious about this sometimes mind-numbing pace that is a toddler’s life. A toddler exists fully in every single moment. They are not constantly looking ahead as we so often tend to do as adults. They savor their moments. The most mundane things, are somehow completely captivating to them. Life is not about getting things done for toddlers. Rather, it is about inspecting everything and doing so with an incredible amount of zest.
So I am trying to value this kind of present moment engagement in life. And rather than feeling bored, I am trying to find what might exist underneath my stubborn layer of boredom and desire to move quickly through life. I can’t say that I have found any answers yet, but I’m pretty sure there is something there to be discovered. And when I take this perspective, I am excited to get to be an explorer everyday and try and see from a new perspective.
My identity has always been very enmeshed with “what I do”. I used to believe that whatever job I had explained everything about me. What I have realized though, is that a title, whether it’s “stay at home mom”, “senior manager”, “burger flipper” etc really doesn’t cover the scope of a who a person is. We can’t actually learn that much about a person by asking them, “what do you do?”.
So rather than asking someone, “what do you do?”, perhaps we can ask them what they are interested in. We can ask questions like, “what do you enjoy doing?”. “What do you wish you had more time for?”.
Questions like this leave more room for a person to share the less obvious parts of themselves. And those are the parts that are usually the most interesting, and the parts that help us truly connect with one another.
While being a stay at home mom is a great choice for me and my family, I want to acknowledge that this does not mean that it is the right choice for everyone. For me though, being a stay at home parent suits my individual constitution and parenting beliefs, and is teaching me valuable lessons that are helping me grow and see the world a little differently than I used to. And while stay at home mom shame creeps up from time to time, I really wouldn’t have this life any other way.
The concept of store-bought granola bars is great – easy, convenient grab-and-go snacks. The taste of them, however, is often overly sweet and unappetizing in my opinion. And there’s just something about unwrapping a commercial granola bar from shiny plastic that doesn’t feel very satisfying. …
My Chemical Pregnancy Experience What is a Chemical Pregnancy? Is a Chemical Pregnancy a Miscarriage? Do Recurrent Chemical Pregnancies Count as “Recurrent Miscarriage”? How Common Are Chemical Pregnancies? After a blighted ovum miscarriage about 6 months ago, I was cautiously optimistic that I would go …
While TV ads and hallmark cards often suggest that all “good” mothers want to spend Mother’s Day with their families, I am here to tell you otherwise. Most moms with young kids that I know just want some guilt free, luxurious alone time. To simply be away from screaming wiggling children. Just some quiet and stillness to catch a breath.
So I have to ask myself, why is it that we need this excuse of a national holiday to not feel guilty about asking for some alone time? To refill our cups and exist not only as mothers, but also simply as people with human needs. Am I supposed to feel guilty if I take some time for myself any other day of the year?
Yes, I love my child more than anything, but I am not above saying that I cannot keep up with him all the time and that I desperately need breaks. And even with a wonderful husband who is always stepping in and actively caring for our child, I still barely keep up and I still need breaks.
Oftentimes though, even when I take a break, I am usually feeling guilty about it. And that really takes away from my ability to take full advantage of that child-free time and refill my cup. I believe this phenomena is what is referred to as ‘mom guilt’.
Healthline defines “mom guilt” as follows, “… that pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may “mess up” your kids in the long run.”
Mom guilt is a big hairy monster for many reasons; it is both self-imposed as well as culturally and socially imposed. And when life is moving at toddler pace in our house, aka a million miles per hour, it can be really hard to find the time and energy to fight this mom guilt monster. And when I can’t remember the last time I had an uninterrupted night of sleep, how can I possibly remember to ward off mom guilt? For survival purposes though, we must talk about it!
Feelings of Inadequacy
Behind mom guilt, is this looming sentiment of not being enough. Not being enough for yourself, for your child, for your partner, and even for society.
And for many new moms, mom guilt begins rearing its ugly head the moment their babies are born. When I was still in the hospital after my c-section, I had a rough start with Painful Breastfeeding and this made me feel completely inadequate. I had only been a mother for 2 days, and I already felt like I was failing. Great.
Since that time, I have learned that painful breastfeeding is not an uncommon experience among women. It would have been so helpful to know this before having my child. Why had I never heard about this kind of breastfeeding challenge? Because we don’t talk out loud about the things that make us feel ashamed or inadequate. We tend to only share the things that make us look perfect and beautiful. The ugly and difficult things remain hidden, and they feed that mom guilt monster.
Deciding to be a stay-at-home parent shortly after my son was born, I also started dealing with feelings of inadequacy in regards to being career-less (let me note though, that being a stay at home parent is 110% work, your boss is now just a tiny human and you don’t get paid). Was I not as capable as other women, who were managing both motherhood and a work life outside the home?
And I think working moms carry a similar feeling of guilt, but instead it’s about splitting their time between their children and their paid work. So either way, “hello, mom guilt”.
We live in a time culturally, where women have made great strides in claiming their rights. And this is wonderful, but a byproduct seems to be the emergence of this supermom model and ideal. The idea that women can and should take on all the jobs of motherhood and professionalism and do it all perfectly. I definitely do not meet this image. So am I a failure as a woman and a mother in our society?
Then comes the guilt from not always enjoying being a mom. It is often both chaotic and dull being with a small child day in and day out. I don’t want to change my life as a stay at home mom, but I’d also like to acknowledge that reading “Is your Mama a Llama” a hundred times is not the most inspiring or stimulating activity. Children thrive off of routine and repetition as their brains and bodies develop, so the monotony is important, but it sure can take a lot out of a person!
Mom guilt also thrives in the company of isolation. Many new moms, myself included, struggle to find other moms or really just any adults to connect with. Especially as a stay at home mom, most of my early days as a new mother were spent alone with my child. This was wonderful and beautiful in many ways, but I often found myself scheming ways to connect with other adults, and especially other moms. So without a tribe and other moms to relate with, it’s really easy to start internalizing mom guilt.
And let’s talk a little bit about hormones. I don’t know the ins and outs of hormones medically speaking, but I know that after going through pregnancy, having a child, breastfeeding, shifting menstrual cycles, and then having 2 miscarriages – and all of that accompanied by sleep deprivation – has just been a rollercoaster of a ride. And all those shifting hormones can really exacerbate any underlying feelings, such as mom guilt.
So what is a mother to do? I wouldn’t trade being a mother for anything, but can we please talk about how to address this issue of not feeling like enough? While there are certainly situations involving child abuse and neglect that are unacceptable, most moms with ‘mom guilt’ are doing a fantastic job raising their kids, despite feeling otherwise. So I try to remind myself that I am enough when it comes to loving and supporting my child, in the best way I know how.
It’s too easy to focus on the negatives and forget about all the ways we are successfully momming. And success doesn’t always look like “success”. Sometimes success simply looks like getting out of bed in the morning after a hard night and managing to make your child some pancakes. Or maybe just managing to get clothes on them, strap them in their carseat and throw them a granola bar.
Or maybe on those hard days, success is taking a step back after your child has been screaming demands at you all morning, taking a few breaths, and calmly returning to deal with the matter at hand. Rarely does life match ideal standards and expectations. So don’t discount all the ways that you are successfully dealing with challenges. The ways that you are keeping your sh** together and continuing to love and show up for your child.
Once I get talking to another mom about some of the hurdles of motherhood, I realize that my experience of motherhood is not all that unique. My frustrations and exhaustion are a shared experience. While this does not objectively change much when I am in the midst of dealing with an obstinate 2 year old, it is somehow very comforting and helps battle those feelings of loneliness as a mother.
At the end of the day, I don’t have much energy to exercise and plan out a week of healthy meals or go for a jog. And I certainly don’t have it in me to wake up before my toddler does to exercise or work on projects after a horrible night’s sleep. So I am working on getting creative to find ways to take care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally.
For example, instead of going out of my mind with boredom as I drive Hot Wheels cars around on the floor with my toddler, I simultaneously do some stretching and sip on a hot drink. This makes it feel a little less like I’m being held hostage by a 2 year old.
I have also started making myself a smoothie with fruits and veggies when I make one for my tot. Not only does he get some vitamins and minerals in this way, but I do too. So as time goes on, I’ll continue building in small ways to support myself as well as my toddler into our days. Sometimes all those little things can really make a big difference.
Talking with my partner about a schedule where I can get some time away during the day has been helpful. But we have to do it days in advance for me to not feel guilt and like I am stealing time. Of course things come up and sometimes schedules don’t always work out, but planning ahead and carving out time to not be in mom-mode is essential.
I have also found it helpful to take time to adopt some Minimalist Practices to Help Prevent Parent Burnout. By simplifying things at home, it’s easier to keep a clear mind and not get lost in the mom guilt haze.
I refuse to believe that Mother’s Day is the only day that I can take some guilt free time away from my child. I need this time to nourish myself, not only for myself, but so that I can continue to nourish my family as well. So let us take this Mother’s Day not just as an excuse to give ourselves some guilt-free TLC, but also as a reminder to tackle mom guilt the rest of the year as well.
There are plenty of reasons that mom guilt exists, but they are not good reasons to let it stick around. So join forces with other moms, remind yourself that you are enough, take care of your wellbeing and take a little time to fill your cup on a regular basis. Happy Mother’s Day this Sunday and every other day of the year!
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Homemade kinetic sand is so soothing and fun for kids to explore! It is moldable like wet beach sand, but unlike wet sand, it is light, fluffy, and delightfully soft. And it is incredibly easy to make! This homemade kinetic sand recipe has 3 simple …
Easter egg fillers for toddlers can be super simple! In fact, after getting a bag of plastic easter eggs at the thrift store for $2, I walked around the house and poked through the pantry to find some no-fuss fillers.
You can also buy packs of easter eggs at the dollar store in all different colors. And you can keep these eggs to fill year after year!
For young toddlers, the thrill of an easter egg hunt is more about the easter hunt than it is about the contents of the eggs.
Ever buy your toddler an expensive toy, only to watch them toss it aside and go for an old cardboard box or a spatula instead? Yep, toddlers often find everyday items around the house more interesting than fancy toys and gadgets. It’s good to keep this in mind as your on the search for some good egg fillers.
Below is a list of easter egg filler ideas for younger toddlers and another list for older toddlers. I have also included a list of non-plastic easter egg fillers at the end.
I filled my 2-year-old’s plastic eggs with his favorite bite-size snacks, stickers, flowers, and small items like little figurines and matchbox cars.
Please note any food allergies and choking hazards specific to your toddler. If your child tends to put things in their mouth, you can stick with larger eggs and fill them with bigger items.
Here is a full list of some simple easter egg fillers for younger toddlers;
My now recently turned 4-year-old is obsessed with our annual easter egg hunt. As he is getting older, I know that fillers like pom poms and puffs may not quite cut it. So I am adding a few more fun easter egg fillers to the mix that I know will be a huge hit.
Here are the best easter egg fillers for older toddlers and preschoolers that won’t lead to sugar overload! While I’m including a few sweet treats like jelly beans and mini chocolates this year, I’m sticking to as few sugary treats as possible.
To sweeten the pot and as a fun surprise this year, I am going to include a jumbo egg! I’ll fill it with some favorites; small glow sticks, bath bombs, and a couple of Hot Wheels and bath toys.
These are just a few ideas to get started. The point is that Easter egg fillers for toddlers don’t have to be complicated or extravagant.
One of the most amazing things that toddlers remind us of as adults, is that there is joy and delight to be found in the simple and small things!
The best gift we can give our toddlers on Easter is spending some time with them. We can simply fill and hide all those little eggs in the yard or around the house, and let them play and have fun finding them.
Creating a great holiday for toddlers isn’t about spending a lot of money or putting a ton of time into prep work. While some prep is certainly helpful to make the occasion special, it can be pretty minimal!
For example, thrift stores can be an amazing resource for gathering some fun, inexpensive and environmentally sustainable holiday materials! I found some easter baskets and all of the plastic easter eggs at our local thrift store for a grand total of $5. And all of the fillers were things we had around our house, I made or I picked up at the grocery store.
Older kids won’t be quite as impressed if you only include fillers you have found around the house, but you can still keep it pretty simple. My preschooler loves all the mini items from the dollar store and thrift store, so young kids are pretty easy to please!
I find myself buying plastic junk items far too often for my children. While I am trying to get away from that, I find it a bit of a challenge when it comes to filling easter eggs.
Especially as my child gets older into the preschool years, I see him getting so excited about little plastic toys and items from the dollar store. He treats them as though they are precious treasures and has small stockpiles around the house.
While I do not want to invalidate what is precious to him, I’m not feeling great about encouraging his love of small cheap plastic toys. For one, I’m tired of all the clutter it creates in our house.
Secondly, I hate that I am contributing to what eventually ends up in our Earth’s landfills. Even though we are buying these plastic toys to bring our kids joy, in the long run, we are creating a less hospitable Earth for them and future generations.
With this in mind, I am striving to create more eco-conscious Easter traditions and egg hunts.
I listed many of these non-plastic and non-candy easter egg filler ideas in the previous lists, but I am consolidating them here.
Note that items like small rocks are choking hazards and should not be given to young toddlers.
Always keep in mind, that the best thing about an easter hunt is the hunt itself!
Related: DIY Cardboard Toddler Toys
Other ways to create magic and fun on Easter morning for little ones;
Happy Easter!
Please say hi and leave a comment below if you have any great ideas for simple easter egg fillers for toddlers!
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As a mother of a 2 year old boy, Andrew Yang’s recent episode on his podcast ‘Forward’ piqued my interest; “Why Boys and Men are Failing”. You can also watch the conversation between Yang and Zach Graumann on YouTube.
I found this an odd and intriguing topic given our culture’s current conversations around male privilege and patriarchy. What could Andrew Yang possibly reveal about some kind of systemic failure when it comes to boys and men in our country?
In a nutshell, the podcast episode is about how there are many boys and men in our country who are falling and failing in sad and even dangerous ways. And this really got me thinking about how to raise my little boy so that he could avoid a fate of what so many boys end up experiencing. So before I address my conclusions, I will summarize some of the key points Yang shares in “Why Boys and Men are Failing”.
First, it’s important to acknowledge that Yang is primarily concerned with the typical or average American boy. He points out that “society pays a lot of attention to outliers”. For example, the male celebrities and executives in the media who are making more money than their female counterparts, really don’t generalize to the average boy or man.
So he emphasizes this point that when we talk about gender injustices with men coming out on top, we are often only looking at what is happening in the “super lucrative fields”. While this is certainly still significant, it simultaneously obscures a whole category of boys who are growing up and struggling to find their way.
For example, Yang and Graumann discuss the following;
And if typical boys are falling behind right off the bat in primary school and are also less likely to attend college, Yang says that this means they continue to struggle as they get older. This means they have trouble finding work and are less likely to form families.
Additionally, many jobs that non-college educated men have historically held are disappearing or have already disappeared. Yang states that over a 15 year period, 5 million manufacturing jobs have been lost. And that three quarters of those lost jobs were held by men. And there have been no jobs to replace those lost jobs.
So as these men struggle to find work and form families, their sense of self worth is plummeting. And this leads to unproductive and often unhealthy or even dangerous behaviors and sentiments.
Many of these men start to isolate themselves and become anti-social. They may also start drinking, doing drugs or spending an excessive amount of time playing video games (a world which they can access some feeling of significance, moving forward in ‘life’ and community).
Yang states that women, for some reason don’t tend to be as prone to this kind of behavior and loss of self worth when they are faced with “idle” time. While women may start spending more time and talking with friends, many men on the other hand don’t know how, or are afraid to communicate their feelings.
So this inability to express vulnerability, turns into fear and anger. Yang and Graumann bring up this issue of angry men throughout their conversation.
Yang also discusses how these men are vulnerable to adopting “toxic ideologies”. Because with those ideologies, they gain a sense of belonging and importance. However distorted this may be, those ideologies help take away some of those feelings of insignificance. And this could be for example, why tragedies like mass shootings are dominated by males.
Yang and Graumann also discuss how this boy problem ultimately becomes a big problem for women. By addressing the issue with boys, Yang explains that he is not trying to ignore or sideline the feminist movement; rather he wants to widen the scope of the feminist perspective. To acknowledge that addressing this boy crisis, is actually in support of women as well.
For example, boys who grow up into these angry men with low self worth are often those men who end up subjecting women to domestic violence or engaging in other destructive behavior towards women. Or they may be men who end up out of the picture when it comes to raising their own children. And then those children do not grow up with a father and role model, and this particularly and negatively impacts boys.
It seems that Yang and Graumann are primarily focused on outlining and explaining the issues and problems when it comes to why boys and men are failing, but they do sprinkle in some discussion on possible solutions. I won’t dive too much into these, but universal basic income, new government policies and new job creation for all education levels are among some of the discussed solutions.
Additionally, Yang and Graumann talk about addressing these problems early on with young boys. The problems get harder to solve once boys have turned into grown men.
There was much more to this podcast, but the above are some of the points that stood out for me. So now I want to talk a little bit about how all of these points are relevant to me as I raise my little boy. While Yang is interested in discussing solutions at a government and policy level, I want to share my thoughts on solutions at a nuclear family level as a mom.
The first issue that stands out for me from Yang and Graumann’s conversation is how many boys are growing up into angry men. This in part comes from the fact that they do not know how to communicate or express vulnerability. So how can I, as a mother to a little boy, teach my son to acknowledge, communicate and effectively manage his feelings?
I talk about this in my post on Helping Toddlers Deal with Big Feelings. I think one of the most important aspects is to let our children know that their feelings are valid and to help them identify their feelings.
While we let them know that their behaviors are not always appropriate (hitting when frustrated, etc), we let them know that their feelings are always worthy of acknowledgment. And this means they learn to understand that it is okay and safe for them to have feelings, talk about their feelings, and manage their feelings.
The next issue that caught my attention from Yang and Graumann’s conversation was how these struggling boys and particularly men have a poor sense of self worth. Their confidence and self esteem is completely in the toilet.
How then, can I raise my son to hold onto his sense of self-worth as he grows up? He will inevitably face challenges and things won’t always go his way, so how do I encourage him to always stay connected to a strong sense of self-worth?
I think at the most fundamental level, I show him everyday that he is loved and that I am delighted simply by his existence. I pay attention to him. I talk to him, I listen to him, I play with him.
And I notice what he is interested in, and I encourage those interests. I don’t try to force my own interests upon him, but I let him fully engage with those things that naturally spark his curiosity. Maybe this will allow him to find work when he is older that he finds meaning, purpose and significance in.
In my 2 year old’s case, he is OBSESSED with cars. So when we go to the library, we look for car books. He picks them out himself and he loves reading them over and over and over. Although it drives me crazy sometimes reading about excavators and monster trucks all day long, I know that by nurturing his interests, he is developing a love for reading that will serve him well as he grows up.
And a last issue that Yang addresses is in regards to having 2 engaged parents in the household to support little boys (This is not to say that single parents aren’t amazing parents of course) . So I think about how my husband and I can have a healthy relationship so that we can always be available for my son.
And also, how we can model a healthy relationship for my son; things like speaking kindly to one another, helping one another and enjoying each other’s company. I am so lucky that my husband is the best kind of person and always treats me with kindness. And I am so glad that this is the male role model that my son has and is going to have as he grows into a man.
If you have any additional ideas on supporting the healthy development of little guys, or are also an Andrew Yang fan, say hi and leave a comment below!
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