Surviving, Occasionally Thriving & Always Learning
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As a mom of a rambunctious baby and a high energy preschooler, I can get pretty overstimulated and overwhelmed. Sometimes my nerves are completely fried by the end of the day. This is when I start to feel angry, resentful and burnt out. The constant motion, noise, and general chaos of raising two young children is just a lot for this mama to handle.
So I have been trying to figure out how to prevent reaching this point of exhaustion, while simultaneously keeping my kids happy and healthy.
One solution that has been incredibly helpful has been adopting an assertive parenting style. This parenting style is all about setting clear boundaries with children AND building a warm and loving parent-child relationship.
The term boundaries with children is often associated with an authoritarian parenting style; however assertive parenting teaches us that strong boundaries and mutual respect and warmth are not exclusive of one another. Parents can be authority figures who lead by example and a fair and assertive approach; not through fear of punishment and intimidation.
As a mom, I am attracted to two underlying themes of an assertive approach to parenting;
One of the primary benefits of an assertive parenting style is that both my needs and my child’s needs get met. I am able to maintain my sanity, while my children still get the love and attention they need from me.
But how can this be? As moms, we often receive the message that we are supposed to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our children’s wellbeing. I do not buy into this message.
I know that I can be a better, happier, healthier mama when I am considering my children’s needs AND my needs. And there is almost always a way for everyone to get their needs met one way or another. Maybe not immediately or perfectly, but sufficiently.
For example, my 4 year old wants me to play with him all of the time. If I want to get anything done around the house or simply eat some food though, I am learning to clearly and calmly tell him that I need to do x, y and z, and then I can play.
By meeting our needs as mothers and individuals, we do not let resentment build up inside of us or let exhaustion drain us. When we have honored our needs, we can be our best selves and be fully present parents.
Making sure our needs are met also models healthy self-care practices to our children as well as important assertiveness skills. This will help them become confident and assertive adults who know how to take care of themselves. As a mother, this is one of my greatest hopes for my children; that when I am no longer around, they know how to take care of themselves and are leading happy and healthy lives.
The type of relationship a child has with a parent has an enormous impact on both a child’s and a parent’s emotional health. A warm and loving emotional bond where there is mutual respect between parent and child creates the foundation for a cooperative and confident child, and a confident parent.
Conversely, cold and uninvolved parenting styles can lead to children feeling insecure and anxious about where they stand and what they can expect in their relationship.
An authoritarian parenting style for example, relies on punitive measures to try and control children. In contrast, assertive parenting elicits positive behaviors through kids’ genuine desire to cooperate rather than through fear of punishment.
When the parent-child relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect and trust, children experience the benefits of a positive relationship. This feels good for them and so they start acting in ways that maintain that positive feel good relationship.
Power struggles between parents and children are normal to some degree, but they do not have to be a way of life. Assertive parenting aims to transform combativeness during power struggles into opportunities for cooperation and compromise.
When parents model clear, respectful and open communication, children also learn this style of communication. They trust that they have a safe space with their parent to ask for what they need, and work out a positive way to meet that need.
Children grow up knowing what healthy relationships looks like and how to maintain them through assertive communication. This serves as a model that they can use as they develop other relationships as they get older.
If parents did not have a model of healthy relationships themselves growing up, this is their opportunity to break harmful intergenerational parenting patterns and offer their children a new approach.
There is a wonderful kind of confidence that comes with being assertive. And when we model assertiveness to our children and teach them assertiveness skills, they learn how to be assertive themselves. They learn how to ask for what they need as well as respect other’s boundaries.
I was well into adulthood before I understood the concept of assertiveness. This led to many uncomfortable situations where I remained silent while letting others cross my personal boundaries. This contributed to low self-esteem and conflict in my life. By embracing assertiveness now, I am hoping that my kids are better able than I was to confidently ask for what they need and uphold their personal boundaries.
It’s all well and good to talk about the benefits of assertive parenting, but how does a frazzled mama or papa BE an assertive parent? Here are some essential assertiveness skills to practice. I am in the process of developing these skills myself, and while a slow process, I am seeing the benefits everyday, slowly but surely.
Speaking assertively means being clear on what you want to communicate and using respectful words and a calm voice to convey your message. Accusatory and unkind words are not productive and not a part of assertive communication.
Use “I” statements and set clear limits. “I” statements help children know exactly where you stand, what you are feeling and what you expect.
While assertive communication is important, knowing how to genuinely listen to children is also an essential skill. Listen to their words as well as taking notice of their body language and behaviors. Younger children often do not know how to verbally tell us what is going on, but they show us through their bodies and behaviors.
When we truly listen, we can often identify what’s behind frustration and bad behavior. And we realize that it is usually an unmet need or an uncomfortable feeling that kids are trying to deal with, but do not have the right coping skills to deal with in a productive way. So it is our job to help teach them more effective coping strategies and communication methods.
Children also feel seen and heard when we let them know that we are listening through our body language and words. To let them know we are listening, we can maintain eye contact, put a hand on their shoulder, or get down on their level. We can also summarize back to them what they have said, or use words or sounds of acknowledgment (eg “uh-huh”) as they are talking to us.
We have to remember that children are so new to this world and that their brains are still developing. If we can remember to see from a child’s perspective from time to time, we realize that they are usually not trying to terrorize us as parents. Usually they are just trying to connect and feel seen and heard.
We expect our kids to manage their emotions and resulting behaviors, but we often neglect to acknowledge that we are not managing our own very well. We also forget that children are still developing neurologically and need our help developing emotional regulation skills.
It’s perfectly okay and normal to feel exasperated and frazzled as a parent (it would be weird if we didn’t from time to time), but it is important to be mindful of how we are expressing those feelings. Do our children see us acting out aggressively when we are upset or frustrated with them? We don’t have to hide our feelings, but we do have to know how to express them appropriately and in a healthy way.
For example, sometimes we just need to take a step back from a stressful situation (as long as everyone is safe) and gather some self awareness. Then we can put a hand on our chest or belly and take some deep breaths. This is one way to regulate overwhelming stressful emotions.
When you expand your belly as you inhale, and deflate it as you exhale, this is called deep diaphragmatic breathing. It activates the vagus nerve and your body’s rest and relaxation response. This is the state we want to be in when we are dealing with troublesome and frustrating behaviors from our children.
Once our bodies and minds have calmed, we can speak to our children about what has happened and what needs to change. This is very different than screaming and yelling in frustration, which can be scary to children and exacerbate bad behavior.
Clear communication and decision-making go hand-in-hand. In order to clearly communicate with our children, we have to make clear decisions about what we want to communicate.
Rather than brushing off undesirable behavior because we don’t know how we want to deal with it, we have to stop and consider the best course of action. We may not always know if we are making the best decision, but we almost always have the opportunity to repair any damage we have done if we realize we have made the wrong decision.
Setting and honoring appropriate boundaries is a essential part of assertive parenting. Boundaries let children know what is and is not okay. They also exist to help parents maintain their sanity!
Appropriate boundaries need to make sense and have a good reason for existing. Sometimes after asking myself why I have created a certain boundary with my child, I realize that there’s actually not a very good reason for it.
Good reasons for boundaries include boundaries that are made in order to keep kid’s and parents safe and healthy (emotionally and physically).
Even when parents practice respectful communication with their kids and are calm and loving, there are bound to be situations where kids ignore set boundaries or parental requests. And oftentimes, they don’t even care about consequences. Even with natural consequences and logical consequences (vs threatening and punitive consequences), a child still may not give a hoot. In these cases, we need to consider if our child is feeling a lack of emotional connection with us.
Reconnecting with a child can often give them the intrinsic motivation they need to jump on board with our requests (verses using bribes, threats and punishment to try and elicit cooperation).
For example, it’s common for young children to act out when a new baby enters the family. From their perspective, they feel like they are losing attention and therefore connection with their parents. My 3 year old started acting out after his baby sister came into the picture and started taking a lot of the time and attention that he was used to having from us. Slowly but surely and with lots of hug and acknowledgment of big feelings, those initial behaviors subsided.
A more common example many parents can relate to is the power struggle that brushing teeth can be with young children. Historically, I have used threats and bribery to try and get my son to brush his teeth. Those tactics have rarely worked. He couldn’t care less. What I do know though, is that when I ask if he wants me to tell him a story while he’s brushing, he agrees 9 out of 10 times. And while this may be considered bribery, it is actually about taking the time to connect and be present with him.
I am so thankful for my children. They teach me everyday how to be more assertive, strong and flexible as a parent and a person. And as I learn about healthy boundaries, respectful communication, emotional regulation and self awareness, I hope to teach my children these skills as well so they feel confident and capable.
Parenting is certainly exhausting, but also the best thing that I know I will ever do in this life. If I can form a foundation of love, safety and happiness with them in our home, I know they will be better prepared for this world.
Related parenting posts:
Intergenerational Family Patterns and How We Parent
Preventing 3 Year Old Behavior Problems After New Baby
When Should Family Visit Newborn Baby
Helping Toddlers Deal with Big Feelings
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Breastfeeding is a big job and as such, snacks for nursing moms are essential! Not only is making breastmilk physically demanding, but it can be mentally and emotionally demanding as well. Many mamas are feeding their babies around the clock and may additionally be dealing with issues like; nipple pain, clogged ducts, milk blebs, undersupply, oversupply, latch problems, the list goes on. The point being, breastfeeding takes a lot of energy; physically, mentally and emotionally.
So nursing mamas need snacks! Lots and lots of nourishing snacks.
I want to share my 12 favorite snacks for nursing moms here;
As I think about what I need to eat in a day while breastfeeding, I find the USDA’s Dietary Reference Intake calculator quite helpful. You can enter your stage of lactation, age, weight, height and activity level and the calculator will give you a nutrient profile and how many calories you need in a day.
I was surprised to see how much fiber, fat, protein and water it calculated I need as a lactating mama. According to the DRI calculator, I should be consuming about 400 extra calories per day as I’m breastfeeding my 9 month old baby. This is more or less how many extra calories many nursing mamas need, but it depends on different variables that the DRI calculator accounts for.
It’s hard to know exactly how much 400 extra calories is in terms of food. I’ve never been a calorie counter, so I googled how 400 calories translates to different foods. Heath Mangieri Nutrition shares what 400 calories looks like and compares nutrient rich foods with less nourishing foods.
Getting a visual of how different foods add up to 400 or so calories made me realize that in order to get all my recommended nutrients in and stay within a 400 cal range, I need to have relatively healthy and easy to prepare snacks on hand. And obviously eat well balanced meals too.
So the snacks I share here are meant to easily fit into a busy and hectic day, while simultaneously providing necessary calories and decent nutrients for breastfeeding mamas.
My 12 Favorite Snacks for Nursing Moms
As a hungry and busy nursing mom, I graze on these snacks throughout the day in between meals. Or let’s be honest, sometimes they are my meals. So I do not eat perfectly everyday, but I’m always trying to do better!
Please note that I am not a dietician or medical professional. What I share below is what works for me, but may not work for everyone. Listen to your body and your own qualified physician for customized snacking ♡.
I love pretzels (GF or regular) with a good balsamic hummus. It’s a quick tasty snack that creates zero dirty dishes! You can simply stick a bunch of pretzels in a hummus container and you’re good to go.
And nutritionally, hummus offers nursing moms a boost of protein and fiber. It does have a lot of sodium however, so all things in moderation. While I primarily eat my hummus with pretzels, I try to throw in a carrot and celery stick every so often too for added fiber and vitamins and minerals.
Some peanut butter spread on celery with raisins on top is your classic ants on a log. Crunchy, refreshing and nutritious.
When I’m in a hurry though, I just put a big spoonful of peanut butter in a bowl, throw in some raisins and dig in with a celery stick. Because when it’s go time, who has the energy to finely spread pb and line up raisins?
WebMD notes that celery is rich with fiber, antioxidants and vitamins (A, C, K, folate, potassium, calcium). Additionally, Milkology explains that nursing moms who don’t have a peanut allergy or family history of one can eat peanut butter and possibly help reduce their baby’s risk of developing a peanut allergy.
Cottage cheese is a good fueling protein snack. A quarter cup of Trader Joes cottage cheese for example, has 13 grams of protein. And when you’re breastfeeding, some extra protein is important!
In fact, Choice explains that breastfeeding moms need 54-67 grams of protein a day. And this snack is super easy to gobble up. Cottage cheese on its own? Bleh, no thank you. But used as a dip with some wheat thins or Sun Chips? Yes please!
Or if you’re going gluten free or wanting a healthier cracker option, there are tons to choose from.
And the best thing is no dishes to wash later! Again, snacks for nursing moms need to be simple. Just grab a box of crackers from the pantry and a container of cottage cheese from the fridge and snack away. Or, if you’re on the go, just substitute a string cheese for the cottage cheese and head out the door.
Plain old saltines with a nice brie cheese seems like an unlikely pairing, but it’s so perfect! I also love brie with Trader Joe’s gluten free Crispbread, which is filled with seeds and oats.
And who doesn’t want to eat a delicious soft cheese like brie after being told they could not have it while pregnant.
Plus, Healthline labels brie as a nutrient dense food with vitamin b12, riboflavin, calcium, protein and fat. Salumi Pasini Nutrition warns though, that the flavor of brie can transfer to breast milk so a nursing baby may show signs of dislike. Additionally, brie could aggravate skin conditions like baby eczema and it also has a lot of sodium. I have not found either to be true for my baby, but it’s good to be aware of anyways.
One can certainly have too much of a good thing when it comes to brie, but I love to keep this snack on my list to enjoy in moderation. And again, there are lots of healthy cracker options out there to get some yummy grains and seed in.
And surprisingly, my 3 year old is a fan of brie as well! So when the brie and crackers come out we can enjoy a snack together.
It may sound ambitious to make homemade granola bars, but it’s actually very simple! I share these Simple Homemade Granola Bars for Toddlers here, but they are for adults too! While obviously these require a little prep, once they are baked, they are a great grab and go snack (they’re gluten free too). And it actually requires very little time to make them, so there’s really no good excuse not to.
And homemade granola bars just taste so much better than sugary store bought ones. Plus, these ones have a healthy helping of oats. Very Well Family explains that oats are beneficial for breastfeeding mom because the beta-glucan fiber in them helps boost milk supply by increasing a mama’s prolactin hormone levels.
And for a protein boost, I like to dip these homemade granola bars in Zoi Greek yogurt. Zoi plain Greek yogurt is thick and creamy and fluffy and when paired with fresh strawberries or these granola bars, almost tastes like a decadent whipped cream! I don’t usually like yogurt, but I like this plain Zoi stuff.
Mixing some protein powder in with a plant based milk and a banana is an easy way to get an extra dose of protein.
I like simple vanilla flavored protein powders mixed with soy milk and a banana. I’ve tried protein powders that have added greens and prebiotics as well, but I find it hard to get those down.
When the days are busy and filled with jumping from task to task with children, it can feel hard to get your greens in. Who has time to put together a decadent salad and sit down and eat it? If your salad is simple enough though, it is actually very easy to get those greens in!
Throw some lettuce into a bowl, sprinkle on some sliced almonds and feta cheese, and then drizzle some olive oil and balsamic vinegar all over. That takes about 2 minutes. Maybe less. And if you’re feeling like putting in another minute or two, this simple salad is delicious with some chopped up apple pieces.
And I have found that a light salad provides some refreshing fuel that doesn’t put me into a food coma, especially when I’m getting the afternoon sleepies and I’m trying to keep up with my toddler and baby.
This is such an easy and nutritious snack to prepare and is one of my favorite simple snacks for nursing moms. And it only takes as long as it takes you to pull a bag out of the freezer, jiggle out some frozen edamame onto a plate and pop it into the microwave for a minute or two.
Eating Well explains that edamame is a great source of protein, vitamins, minerals and fiber. Edamame also has a low glycemic index (good for keeping blood sugar levels in check) and may help prevent osteoporosis and manage high blood pressure and cholesterol levels.
Taking a little time to make a container of your favorite trail mix fixing can really pay off when you just need to grab a quick handful of something to snack on. I like to put dark chocolate chips, chopped up dried fig pieces, almond slices, toasted coconut flakes, toasted coconut flakes, gf mini pretzels and Chex cereal squares in mine.
Interestingly, I developed a strong craving for dark chocolate after I started breastfeeding. I never liked dark chocolate before becoming a mom, but now it tastes so delicious to me. I have heard this from other nursing mothers as well, so want to sure a little side note on dark chocolate since it must be included in my trail mix!
So in bad news, apparently some dark chocolate has high levels of cadmium and lead. Major bummer. Consumer Reports shares which chocolate bars have these higher levels. Since I eat a lot of dark chocolate, I’ll definitely only be buying chocolate bar brands on Consumer Reports “safer choices” list now. Ghiradelli’s 86% cacao bar is on the safer choice list, so I’ll be switching to that! I guess it’s too late for me when it comes to all those Trader Joe’s dark chocolate bars I have eaten.
I also want to share a quick note on dried figs since they are also particular to my postpartum life. For any mommas who experienced the same unfortunate bum problems as me (postpartum anal fissures and hemmorhoids, insert ugh and eye roll), figs can help keep stools regular and soft. So, if you’re juggling the unpleasant rear end issues of motherhood and breastfeeding, figs in your trail mix can’t be overlooked!
Mix up a dollop of peanut butter in some plain Greek yogurt, dip some banana slices in the mixture, and sprinkle them all with crushed chocolate chips. Then just line these up on a small tray or plate and let them freeze for a couple of hours before they’re ready to eat.
These are a refreshing little treat, and your toddler will probably love them too!
These banana pancakes take some initial prep work, but if you make a big batch you can pop some in the freezer for a grab, toast and go snack later. The simple ingredients (eggs, a little gf or regular flour, shredded zucchini and banana) make these little pancakes taste so wholesome. And the banana makes them sweet enough that you don’t need to add any syrup and can just eat them as is.
Also, my toddler is obsessed with these so I can make a big batch all at once for the both of us! Sometimes we leave the zucchini out if we don’t have one in the fridge, or add blueberries, so these are versatile depending on what add in you have or don’t have in your fridge.
I love having lots of delicious fresh fruit readily available. Apples, grapes, mandarins, berries, bananas and pears are all easy fruits to keep on hand. Luckily my toddler is obsessed with fruit, so I often have it out anyway at meal and snack times so it’s easy to get some bites of it in myself.
I have also started becoming more intentional about eating fresh fruit though and making colorful fruit salads that are a tasty treat. And on a side note, if you haven’t invested in a grape slicer, do it! It’s oddly satisfying slicing those grapes so perfectly and quickly, and most importantly I don’t worry about grapes being a choking hazard for my littles when sliced up.
While not a snack obviously, I want to highlight the importance of drinking water throughout the day in-between meals and snacks. I always make sure to drink lots of water throughout the day. If you are a mama suffering from Postpartum Fissures or hemorrhoids, you know that keeping things moving smoothly is very important. Water helps.
Additionally, WebMd states that breastfeeding mothers need 128 oz of water per day. Whoa, that seems like a lot. Not sure if I’m there yet, but I get to almost 90 oz from my trusty Stanley tumbler everyday, and probably get another good amount just through foods with a higher water content and other drinks.
Sometimes I rifle through our cupboards and fridge and feel like there’s nothing to eat. Making this list though, and keeping a grocery list on my phone of everything needed for the above snacks helps ensure I always have something decent to snack on.
Feel free to copy and paste my grocery snack list into your own! This list has everything you need to make all the snacks shared above. In review, we have;
I hope this list of snacks for nursing moms is helpful! Please share any other delicious snack ideas in the comments below. Happy snacking!
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Looking for a simple recipe for a fun family dinner night? A meal that’s delicious for kids and adults alike? And that even young children can help make? Look no further! Here I share a simple and tasty homemade pizza recipe.
Historically, the thought of making homemade pizza dough sounded super intimidating to me. After trying out this easy recipe though, I feel like a total pizza pro.
The final result is so delicious and better than most pizza dough I have had at restaurants. And you really can’t beat the 10 minutes it takes to make the dough, 5 minutes to roll it out/add toppings, and the 20 minutes of bake time. Of course if you have a tiny helper in the kitchen, plan for some additional prep time.
I have also never seen my 3 year old eat so much pizza at once. He usually takes little nibbles here and there of take out or frozen pizzas, but he devours this homemade pizza. Plus, it’s a fun activity for him to help mix ingredients, roll out dough and add his own toppings.
The recipe I share here is based off of allrecipe’s pizza crust recipe, with just a couple additions and suggestions. After looking high and low for a good pizza dough recipe, I think the allrecipe one is truly the best in terms of ease and taste!
The dough is made up of just a few ingredients, most of which are already in most people’s cupboards. The only ingredients I had to go out and buy for the dough were 2 simple things; bread flour (but you can also use regular flour) and active dry yeast.
Bread flour is usually sold right alongside the regular flour at the grocery store. And active dry yeast is usually in the same section as well. I like the Red Star active dry yeast packets. You only need a single .25 ounce packet for this recipe.
Other than the bread flour and yeast, the only other things you need for the dough are salt, olive oil and some optional dried spices like rosemary, sage, garlic powder and onion powder.
As far as toppings go, they can really be anything! Our favorites are pepperoni, black olives, pineapple, bell peppers, mushrooms and onions.
The first couple of times I made the dough, I thought the allrecipe instructions were mistaken. It took soo long for the yeast to activate and get all frothy.
After making this recipe a few times though, I realized that I either had not been using warm enough water or had not fully mixed the sugar in with the water prior to adding the yeast. Once I got the yeast prep down though, it frothed up within a couple of minutes rather than taking 20 plus minutes.
While waiting for the yeast to activate and get frothy, I mix the other dough ingredients in a separate bowl; bread flour, salt, dried spices, and olive oil.
Once the yeast is ready, I add the yeast to the flour mixture and stir it all up and roll it into a ball! Then I let it sit for 5 minutes.
I break off a handful of dough for my toddler to make his own personal pizza. He enjoys rolling it out into odd shapes and choosing his own toppings. This really gives him a sense of independence and pride in making his very own pizza!
With the rest of the dough, I roll out a big circle for a pizza for me and my husband and bake it on a round pizza tray. We use a regular baking sheet for my toddlers pizza. It’s helpful to rub some olive oil onto the pizza pans so the dough won’t stick.
And then it is just a matter of popping the pizzas into the oven and waiting for them to bake for 20 minutes. Yum!
Including kiddos in meal prep is a great way to teach them new skills and hopefully prepare them to make their own food when they venture out from the nest!
And, there’s nothing like a good pizza to make a fun family dinner night feel festive and special.
Let me know how this recipe worked out for you in the comments!
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A great baby wrap promotes bonding, provides comfort and offers convenience. And with a hot and fun filled summer ahead, finding the best baby wrap to use while out on adventures or at home getting things done is a must.
When it comes to finding the best baby wrap for summer, there are a few essential features to consider. A great summer wrap must be;
So with all of the above features in mind, I nominate the Weesprout tencel modal wrap as the best baby wrap for summer!
The first time I put the Weesprout wrap on and held my baby in it, I couldn’t stop exclaiming to my husband how amazing it felt to have her snuggled up against me. And months later, I’m still in love with this wrap and how close I feel to my baby when I wear it. I will almost always reach for this wrap before any of the others we have.
The Weesprout baby wrap comes as a long piece of tencel modal fabric that you strategically wrap around your hips and shoulders to create a comfortable and nurturing nest for baby. And it feels so good to have baby up against you in this lightweight silky smooth wrap!
The Weesprout wrap is made of tencel modal fabric, which has the following qualities;
As we are starting to hit 90 degree days, I am especially grateful for the lightweight and breathability of the Weesprout wrap. And despite the lightweight quality of the wrap, it still feels very durable. I have no doubts about the strength of the fabric safely holding my baby in place.
Tencel modal also has a minimal and silky texture which feels cooling on hot sticky days.
While hefty and more expensive baby carriers like the Ergobaby Omni Mesh 360 carrier are great, I much prefer the simple Weesprout wrap on hot days. Additionally, I think my baby prefers the greater visibility offered when she is in the Weesprout wrap since it is not as bulky and she is still so small.
An additional important benefit, is that tencel modal is an eco-friendly product. Cariki explains that it is sourced from eucalyptus wood and is produced through an eco-friendly manufacturing process. Plus, tencel is biodegradable as long as it’s not blended with other non biodegradable materials.
The fabric has a minimal yet durable feel to it, and I was amazed by how close and comfortable I felt with my baby the first time I put her in the WeeSprout wrap. It reminds me of being pregnant again, but without the discomfort of having all my internal organs squished!
And there is nothing sweeter than looking down at my baby’s face as she is snuggled up in her wrap. She always grabs the neck of my shirt with her little fingers and just looks so content being held in this wrap. She both naps as well as spends time awake in it.
At first I thought the Weesprout baby wrap did not have enough stretch. But the more I use it, I realize it has just the right amount of stretch. Any more stretch and I feel like my baby would start to sag in it overtime. And any less stretch and it would be too constricting.
If I have tied the wrap a little too tight before putting my baby in, the fabric gives enough that I can pull it to accommodate a bit more space. And once my baby is in the wrap, she stays nice and secure in place the whole time I’m wearing her. And I have gone on many summer outings and held her in this the entire time. I also carry her around the house in the wrap.
There is definitely a bit of a learning curve when it comes to using this wrap. For example, it takes some practice to figure out how taut you want to wrap it around you before putting baby in. How tight or loose you tie it will impact how high or low baby sits and how well baby is supported against you.
I also found that during this learning curve period, my baby wasn’t always thrilled to be put in the wrap. So for about a week, I thought I had wasted my money, because my baby seemed to detest being put in it. I kept at it though, and after a few days of focusing on getting the wrap tie down, both baby and I fell in love. My baby wants to be in this wrap all the time now and always settles down when in it.
So just keep in mind it takes a little patience and practice to get the wrap tie just right for you and your baby.
The wrap comes with a handy little instruction manual with pictures showing how to tie the wrap.
Taking care of a little one is no easy feat, so having a good baby wrap to support both baby and mom and/or dad is key! And when it’s hot outside and you want to stay cool and feel close with baby, the Weesprout wrap is a great option.
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After going through Painful Breastfeeding as a New Mom with my first baby, I am happy to report that I have successfully managed nipple pain when breastfeeding with my second.
I still experienced sore and painful nipples this second time around, but it never got anywhere near as bad as it did with my first. This is because I knew what to do from the get go. And this made breastfeeding in those early newborn days A LOT less stressful.
So I want to share my top 3 tips for managing nipple pain when breastfeeding in hopes that it can help some other mamas!
My 3 Steps to Manage Nipple Pain when Breastfeeding
#1. Protect Sore Nipples In-Between Feeds
#2. Take a Break from Nursing and Pump as Needed
#3. Always Help Baby Get a Good Latch
#1. Protect Sore Nipples in-between Feeds
With my first baby, I did not know how to properly protect my nipples in between nursing sessions, and this aggravated my already very sore and cracked nipples. Everyone told me to just apply nipple cream and that it would work wonders. Unfortunately, I did not find that nipple ointments did much for me.
Whenever I would leak colostrum or milk, it created a sticky residue and my nipples would stick to my bra. So when I would hastily pull my bra down to breastfeed, it would painfully take cracking and delicate nipple skin with it. Ouch.
So with my second baby, I did some planning and research beforehand regarding products to help protect and heal delicate nipple skin in between breastfeeding sessions.
I used silver nursing cups daily for the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding my newborn. The cups provided much needed protection in-between feeds, allowing my nipples to heal and find some relief.
Now, 3 weeks into my breastfeeding journey, I only need these cups when my nipples are starting to feel particularly sore, which happily isn’t that often!
While I don’t know much about the particulars of the science behind these cups (supposedly the silver has antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties), I do know that they provide a nice barrier between sore nipples and any potential sources of friction.
So in my experience, these silver nursing cups have been essential. I wish I had them when going through painful breastfeeding with my first baby, because they made such a difference this second time around. And aside from their function, they are small, simple to pop on and off and easy to clean.
I am diligent about keeping them clean with soap and warm water between uses, and I make sure my nipples are wiped clean and are dry before applying the cups.
After the silver nursing cups, I found cooling gel pads to be most helpful in the early stages of breastfeeding. Medela makes gel pads that can be reused for a couple of days, and Ameda makes ones that can be reused for up to 6 days. You can clean them and place them in the refrigerator between uses to help cool and soothe inflamed nipples, as well as provide some protection against friction.
I only needed these for the first week or 2 of breastfeeding. I alternated using them with the silver nursing cups and this made my nipple pain when breastfeeding very manageable!
Breast shells are not my favorite, but they certainly have a time and place. I used them a handful of times in my first couple of weeks of breastfeeding. Like the silver nursing cups and gel pads, they provide some nice protection from any friction against sore cracking nipples, and have the added benefit of having air holes in the cups to allow the skin to breathe. They also come with some foam inserts that soak up any leaking breastmilk.
My one complaint about these, is that even when I wore a relatively loose but fitted crop top to hold them in place, they still left pressure indents around my nipples. I think this was due to all the swelling and inflammation around my nipples. So I would only use the shells for short periods of time when I felt like the skin on my nipples needed to air out.
Before using the shells, I rubbed breast milk over my nipples and let it dry with the shells on. Alberta explains that breastmilk has antibodies in it that can aid with healing sore nipples.
Whenever my nipples start to get really sore, swollen and or have any sort of lesions, I switch to pumping until things calm down. At two and a half weeks postpartum I am continuing to use this strategy. This prevents my nipples from getting too beat up before they are ready to handle exclusive breastfeeding.
The idea to intermittently pump to manage nipple pain was first introduced to me by a lactation nurse when I was struggling with breastfeeding with my first baby. She said that my nipples needed time to heal before I could continue breastfeeding.
And it only took a week or less of exclusively pumping before I started alternating pumping and directly breastfeeding. And I then ended up being able to exclusively breastfeed. For me, the benefit of this was not having to deal with managing and cleaning pump parts and bottles.
So I like to share this little piece of wisdom regarding intermittent pumping to manage nipple pain from that lactation nurse, because I do not believe it is a very common one among most lactation consultants. In my experience, many lactation nurses will continue to push breastfeeding unless you have blood pouring from your nipples. But, you know what pain is and if your nipples are not in a place to have a hungry little human chomping on them.
I have found it pretty amazing how in the early days of breastfeeding, when nipples are still acclimating to their rigorous new job, just a day of pumping or just a few sessions can help manage nipple pain and soreness.
For example, with my second baby, I exclusively breastfed the first 2-3 days after delivery, and then when she started to cluster feed, I switched to intermittently pumping as well. Those cluster feeds can happen every hour or less, and that can really start to irritate nipples.
When pumping, I always make sure to use the right sized flanges for my nipple size, and I use a nipple balm like Honest’s Calm Your Nip Balm to prevent uncomfortable friction while pumping.
They say that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if baby has a good latch. I disagree. Breastfeeding can still hurt even if baby has a great latch. This doesn’t mean though that you shouldn’t continue to focus on getting a good latch every feed. Because your nipples will hurt a lot more without one.
Especially when newborns and babies are small, the Brest Friend Nursing Pillow is amazing to ensure a good position for proper latch. Getting one of these pillows was an absolute game changer for me.
This pillow makes it easy to lay baby on top of it, support his or her upper back with one arm and hand, and then hug baby in close to latch as you use your other hand to sandwich your nipple to help baby latch.
The benefit of this pillow compared to other nursing pillows, is that it doesn’t leave a gap for baby to fall in between the pillow and your torso. Especially during the newborn phase, I found this made breastfeeding much easier ergonomically. When my first baby got bigger, I started using the Boppy nursing pillow, but for newborns I really prefer the My Brest Friend pillow.
Struggling with nipple pain when breastfeeding is a fairly common experience among mothers, but something that isn’t often talked about. The more we share our breastfeeding stories though, and the more we share our tips and tricks with each other, the better prepared we are mentally and physically to navigate what can be a challenging journey!
Please share your story and what is or is not working for you when it comes to nipple pain during breastfeeding in the comments below. Thank you!
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Over the past couple of months, I have had some sort of flu, a stomach bug and most recently covid. There have been a few days of reprieve in-between viruses and bugs, but for the most part, I can’t remember the last time I felt healthy. Apparently this is toddler mom life.
With a nearly 3 year old who attends several indoor group activities with little booger fingers flying everywhere, it is really no surprise that we all keep getting sick. My toddler will develop symptoms (fever, vomiting, excessive sleepiness, etc) a day or two before my husband and I develop the same symptoms. The difference is that my tot gets over these ailments in a day or less, whereas it takes my husband and I at least a week, usually longer.
All of these recent bouts of illness have really made me want to put my toddler into a bubble and go back to our early pandemic lifestyle; isolated from people and germs! And especially being 25 weeks pregnant right now, I’m just over it!
The problem is though, is that I am living with a wildly energetic toddler. When my son was younger, he was far more content to just play with me and go about our relatively solitary activities at home and at quiet parks. Now though, I feel like he is ready for so much more.
So, what is one to do? How uptight should I really be about exposure to germs and viruses? While having covid was certainly no fun, we all got through it and are all relatively fine. And if I don’t let my toddler get exposed to all the bugs now, will his immune system ultimately be weak and out of practice as he gets older? Am I just prolonging the inevitable and we will be sick all of the time anyways later on when he is in elementary school?
In an attempt to make an educated decision about how much indoor group activity I want to expose my toddler to this winter and while pregnant, I did a little research.
So my first question is, do babies and toddlers who don’t go to daycare or preschool (or have a lot of exposure in general) have less developed immune systems than those that do? Will they suffer as they get older because their immune systems never battled illnesses when they were younger? Is being a stay at home mom and keeping my son out of daycare yet another thing I am going to store away in my pesky Stay at Home Mom Shame database?
Somewhat surprisingly, I found that the answer to whether or not babies and toddlers need to contract a bunch of illnesses in order to develop their immune systems is not as simple as a yes or no answer.
Melinda Moyer from The New York Times explains that while being around other kids and sharing microbes and getting various illnesses can help develop the immune system, it is not solely responsible. Genetics and lifestyle play a big role too.
For example, Pop Sugar recommends exposing kids to a bunch of relatively harmless microbes to help develop their immune systems. These are microbes that probably won’t get them sick, but that will still be beneficial. They get exposed to these microbes and maintain strong immune systems in the following ways;
Additionally, Cleveland Clinic explains that it really is best to protect kids as much as possible from certain illnesses when they’re very young. For example, they state that it is best if kids don’t get an illness like RSV very early in life. This isn’t the case for all illnesses, but there are certainly some that are best to avoid until later in life. Cleveland Clinic also recommends the following ways to support kids’ healthy immune system development in addition to those listed above;
So while I’m not going to put my child into a bubble, I am going to take steps that I can within reason to keep him away from excessively germy petri dishes. I want him to socialize with other kids and have fun playing at indoor playgrounds this winter, but I can be selective (eg, choosing less crowded places, having playdates outside when possible, washing hands after group activity etc).
And I do not think that being somewhat selective and cautious about germs makes me overbearing or is going to negatively impact my son’s immune system development. I have the luxury to be more selective about activities and exposure levels as a stay at home mom, so I am going to embrace that! And I’m also going to keep in mind those ways listed above to keep my toddler healthy overall that will support the development of his immune system.
And looking forward, University of Utah states that most kids will be getting sick less often by the time they reach middle elementary school. Sure does seem like a long ways away, but it’s nice to know that most kids follow this timeline and it’s all perfectly normal.
Sending everyone good health vibes this season!
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